Tag: #hypothyroid

Who the heck is Hashimoto?

So who the heck is Hashimoto?

Just shy of my 39th birthday I was feeling awful (refer to my first blog post), and I am so thankful I found a doctor who ran a few extra tests to make sure I was okay.  He did of course prescribe some Xanax for my apparent anxiety (I can’t tell you how hard that was for me to accept as I am adamantly opposed to unnecessary medication, especially drugs that can be habit forming), but luckily for me he didn’t stop there.  Through my visits while battling this disease, I have become quite the doctor skeptic now, unfortunately, and believe so many would have sent me on my way with a diagnosis of anxiety and left it at that. Did I emphasize how grateful I am to have found him?! I was diagnosed as being hypothyroid and subsequently, again after more tests, also as having Hashimoto’s disease.

Hypothyroid is when one has a low functioning thyroid gland (while hyperthyroid is the opposite, overactive). The thyroid gland is a small butterfly shaped gland we all have in the base of our neck. This gland releases thyroid hormones and has an essential role in our body functions. The primary functions of the thyroid hormones are to regulate our metabolism, growth, body temperature, heart rate, even blood pressure. If the thyroid is underactive, it has a huge effect on our bodies and how we feel.

There are multiple reasons a thyroid can be low functioning. One of the most prominent is Hashimoto’s disease.

Hashimoto’s Disease, also known as Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, is an autoimmune disease in which our own immune system attacks our thyroid. Diagnosis is determined by the detection of thyroid antibodies in the bloodstream. It was discovered by a man named Hakaru Hashimoto in 1912. Why in the world the body malfunctions and attacks itself is still a mystery. It is understood at this point the body has to have a perfect storm in order for Hashimoto’s disease to kick in. According to the woman I refer to as the most knowledgeable in this field to date, Izabella Wentz (https://thyroidpharmacist.com/), we need to have three things in order for Hashimoto’s to kick in.

First, we need to have a genetic predisposition. This is a toughie for some of us with the disease to see in an obvious way. I don’t have any known family members with Hashimoto’s. However, I don’t really have a large family and at this point can only base that off of my mom, sister, and one grandmother. Maybe someone had it and didn’t even know. Or maybe someone carries the “gene” but didn’t have the perfect storm in order for the disease to fully kick it in gear. Either way, no proven genetic predisposition is known for me. I did recently find out from a 23andme testing I did for other reasons that I carry a genetic predisposition to Celiac disease, which is another autoimmune disease in which the small intestine is damaged stemming from Gluten intolerance. This is the closest I have to any validation in the genetic territory.

Second, we need to have intestinal permeability. Intestinal what?! Another even less appealing phrase for this is “leaky gut”. Ew. This just makes me cringe thinking about it. As awful as it sounds it is actually pretty common and easy to have with the Western diet and lifestyle we Americans are so used to maintaining. Our gut is our biggest immune system organ and what we put in it and how we treat it has an astronomical effect on our health. When one has leaky gut, the tight junctions in the gut have flawed us and are allowing particles to seep into our bloodstream.  Our immune system is thought to kick into high gear when these foreign particles are in our blood stream.

I don’t think I have ever treated my gut very well. From a young age I had quite the sweet tooth. I would eat sugar, confectioners, brown, regular,  any really, straight out of the box with a spoon. We really didn’t have a lot of treats at my house as a kid, but my lunch every day was packed by my dad. He made a deli meat sandwich on a nice keiser type roll, a piece of fruit, and a Little Debbie type snack. I only ate the treat. Oh the guilt, and regret, I feel to this day. Kids can be kinda dumb sometimes. My brother admitted as an adult he did the same. Rock candy was one of my favorites, and I used to ride my bike to the bulk candy store and stock up. Even as an adult, I was always fairly thin so didn’t really think too much about the calorie count, forget about the nutrition content, and my sweet tooth reigned daily. In addition, I was a coffee addict. I understand coffee can be healthy in moderation. My 2-3 cups in the morning were probably okay, even with the occasional flavored creamer, but the afternoon “fufu” drinks…..probably not the best to an already damaged tummy. Veggies…..hahahahahahaha….I would eat them but I recall saying to a coworker as recently as 3 years ago that I thought she was crazy for craving colored peppers for a snack. Coffee or treats….now that was my craving.

In addition to not always eating the best, I must say I had a decent time in my early 20s (if we’re being honest, even some times in my 30s). Some of these times definitely included a little too many alcoholic beverages. Alcohol is known to damage the stomach lining and decrease digestive enzymes.  Now, I was no alcoholic by any means, but if my stomach was already not in tip top shape, these fun times most likely damaged it even more. Again, if we’re being honest, I wouldn’t change those times at all. Maybe just eat better overall. And stress less, which leads me to the last item in my perfect storm.

The third thing needed for Hashimoto’s is a little more brood based or less specifically called “triggers”. A trigger could be a serious illness, food poisoning, serious stress inducing event in our lives, or a constant exposure to something such as radiation, even the toxins in our food and daily environmental surroundings,something that sets us off and wears us down. This is also another one of those tough to pinpoint items. For me I have analyzed this for months, and can only guess at what it could be. For some it is more clear after the trigger event occurs. I believe the sudden death of my husband in 2005 was most likely the primary trigger for me. I do believe in a combination of triggers, and for me having 2 children within 2 ½ years of this highly stressful event probably contributed as well. Pregnancy can be hard on a body and this alone can trigger a negative reaction. In addition I had a serious case of food poisoning early in the first of those two pregnancies (nothing quite like raw slimy lobster in your lobster bisque).

I don’t have to get into the details of what I went through emotionally, but I will tell you I had a constant nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach for years. Even when I didn’t think I had anything to be nervous about, it was there. Still to this day, it can appear, although less frequent. Just typing this actually is bringing it back. The subconscious and the effects of stressful events can be picking at us even when our conscious state isn’t aware. In can continue for so long even when we tell ourselves we are fine. Occasional stress isn’t bad, can even be good, but constant stress is bound to take a toll.

Genetics, leaky gut, and stress are probably what led me to this battle today. Some things I could have done differently, some I had no control over. I can only learn and change what I do going forward.

Hashimoto’s Disease does not have a known cure, and once diagnosed, typically the treatment is a daily pill to help increase our thyroid hormones. I am taking this one step further by trying to fix what is wrong in my body with hopes of remission one day. The battle is a tough one as the damage done and continuing to occur is hard to offset.

Luckily for me, I am known as a fighter.

(Un)Welcome to my home, Hashimoto

I never expected to receive an unwelcome guest who would stay with me for the rest of my life. Heck, I didn’t even know who Hashimoto was. Even when we were introduced I didn’t really think much of Hashimoto from it’s appearance and the brief introduction by my doctor.  We had almost crossed paths years earlier by a different doctor, but that doctor incorrectly told me we didn’t need to meet.

I didn’t realize even after we’d been introduced, how ugly Hashimoto really was on the inside.  How volatile, sensitive, depressing, energy sucking, vile, and really invisible to the rest of my loved ones around me. I have learned over the years of knowing Hashimoto better all the time, Hasimoto is quite lonely and wants me to feel the same way in our relationship.

Even when I told people I have Hashimoto’s, and subsequently found out they do too, our guests Hashimoto don’t seem to have the same personality traits.  Apparently Hashimoto affects each of us differently, we each deal with it differently, some of us are able to simplify it like the general doctors do, some others aren’t able to due to the strong characteristics of our own personal Hashimoto.

My Hashimoto greeted me with a vengence.  Apparently Hashimoto didn’t like to be ignored for any longer. Hashimoto made sure I felt pretty miserable with the most seemingly random symptoms.  It was almost like a ghost from the dead trying so hard to reach out to me, and I continued to explain everything away as something other than what it really was.

The sudden sadness coincidentally once I returned to work after  being home with my kids for 9 years was pretty obvious.  I couldn’t handle being away from my kids.  Crying in my cubicle office daily was easy to explain away. It was also quite the valid reason to quit my job.

Cold? I lived in Minnesota. Cold and MN are equivalent.

The feeling of weakness and lack of energy and motivation, well I was getting older. I guess I should just work out more, but where the heck do I find the energy?!

The restless legs….well I had seen the commercials for sufferers of this and  medication for it (which of course I would not take). I just seemed to accept weird things happen to weird people, and restless legs happened to me for no apparent reason.

The trouble staying asleep….I have seen so many people complain of that on Facebook, so I guess that is a symptom of our aging that we have no choice but to accept.

Teeth grinding became just yet another added symptom of my “stressful life”. I mean, I also had a constant nervous feeling in my stomach most days for years. I would wake up to an immediate anxious feeling. I had experienced some pretty traumatic events in my life, my marriage wasn’t always great (of course THAT couldn’t be due to any of my symptoms like my quite frequent irritability!), I was a super mom to 4 super active daughters.  Of course I was going to have symptoms of anxiety! Back to the sleeping……stressful life to blame possibly too! I felt quite often overwhelmed with life in general (thank God not in a self harming sort of way!), but I just chugged on through.

I felt pretty tired a lot. I even posted on Facebook once asking for advice on how to stop feeling so tired even though I was getting plenty of sleep. Exercise was a suggestion…but again, back to that lack of energy thing.

My daily hair loss, that is the one that took me to the doctor the first time. As apparently Hashimoto wasn’t introduced yet, I just compared myself to an animal shedding excessively.  It seemed dramatically more in spring and summer months so I really was just shedding my extra coat. I could easily wipe up the excessive hair on the bathroom floor with a circular swipe of a tissue, and in the shower hair balls on the ledge greeted my husband daily. Hey, at least I tried not to clog the drain! As far as why, well my mom has pretty thin hair too so genetics just suck (in more ways than I knew then).

The ringing in my ears….now that’s a weird one.  No explanation for that one, but simple enough to ignore.

Weight gain is just supposed to happen as we age, especially as women, and personally a woman who gave birth to 4 children.  At least that is what we are told, and expect to happen.  It is true our metabolisms slow down, and refer back yet again to my loss of energy and motivation, so not enough exercise will certainly contribute to that. Even though I was keeping detailed track of my calories and still watching the scale ever so slightly creep up, I just had to accept I was getting old.  I mean, I was in my late 30s after all (insert eye rolls here). Older=fatter.

The very dry skin in such random places such as my eyelids. Well, I guess I have become super sensitive to eye shadow, and I never really wore much of it anyway, in my “old age”. Simple solution, don’t wear eye shadow.

Pooping and I have never really had a good thing.  Pretty much all of my adult life I have been researching  constipation and trying everything to alleviate it.  I just wanted to poop on a daily basis like they say you should. I had accepted that I just wasn’t a pooper.  Human nature, be damned! I had tried everything recommended, from increasing fiber, supplements, exercise, occasional laxative, you name it.  Pooping just wasn’t much of a thing for me. And that, my dear friends, is a symptom you really don’t discuss with many people, heck no one really, as I am quite the modest girl. So I suffered and just silently rejoiced when an occasional good BM came my way! (Insert the blushed face here)

Headaches are just a part of life.  Who doesn’t get headaches? I didn’t think much of the fact I had multiple types of migraines. Well, actually, I did try to keep a log to discover any triggers, to no avail. I could still function with my many headaches and migraines and I knew so many others have it much worse with debilitating headaches. I just either had a constant pain in the left side of my head and face or I couldn’t see clearly with a visual aura of squibbly (is that a word?) lines in my peripheral vision for about 30 minutes followed by a dull exhausting ache in my head for the rest of the day.  Functional, so just part of my life.

Palpitations are scary. The first time I mentioned them to a doctor I told him I didn’t think it was my heart but a fluttery feeling in my chest. His reply was that  it probably was my heart as palpitations and he was not concerned at all.  Mentally I have always been concerned since it started but reminded myself the doctor was not, even with no additional testing or explanation. (insert wtf here)

Now waking up in the middle of the night with a completely dead numb feeling in right arm was a little freaky.  Only saving grace for my sanity of that is that it was my right arm, and not my left. No explanation could really be found, but I guess for my long term mental state it is a good thing Hashimoto and I were introduced shortly after this crazy scary symptom appeared.  I guess this is when Hashimoto was really starting to try everything in the book to get my attention.

Hashimoto was just sick of being ignored at my house.

The sadness upon waking, to the point of crying before my head even lifted off the pillow didn’t make a lot of sense, but we had just made a big family move.  I knew I was stronger than that though, which I guess made me feel worse….what the hell was going on?!

It wasn’t until the anxiety attacks in the middle of the night did I realize something was definitely wrong.  The feeling of being awoken suddenly with an intense panic and feeling of imminent death (honestly, sat on couch in dark, alone, feeling like I must be dying) finally led me to the doctor again and my introduction to Hashimoto.

Oddly I can say I was somewhat relieved to meet Hashimoto.  I finally had an explanation for so many crazy things that I had been experiencing and feeling in the past couple years. I didn’t learn until more research almost 4 more years even after my introduction that Hashimoto was to blame for so many horrible things. One of those was literally starving my last sweet baby girl as my body couldn’t make sufficient breast milk anymore, no matter I had successfully nursed 3 other children (one of which was just a year prior), and no matter what I did to try and increase production.

Additional symptoms like bloating, acid reflux, eye strain unrelated to vision (verified by an extremely knowledgeable eye doctor), brain fog, sudden onset of intense fatigue randomly, sudden need to cry for no apparent reason even if had just been laughing, rapid heart rate randomly even while resting, low blood pressure, orange peel type texture skin, all appeared even after my introduction to Hashimoto. This was all even while on medication to keep it at bay.

I have learned quite intensely I don’t like Hashimoto. I am sick of all the complication Hashimoto brings to my life and the way it makes me feel. The unwanted guest at my house needs to get the boot.  This is my journey of trying so hard to evict Hashimoto. It is such a lonely journey, but I know finding others that experience even part of what my Hashimoto has brought to me helps in knowing I am not really alone.  I am hoping this does the same for you.

Hashimoto is lonely, but we don’t have to be.